Quentin Tarantino presents... utter crap!

Hostel

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Quentin Tarantino presents?!? Wow. I love Tarantino. I love the movies he directs. But I have to say that I don't love most of the movies tagged with the ominous "Quentin Tarantino presents" tag. There have been a couple who have bore that heavy burden. Iron Monkey comes to mind. Now, compared to Hostel, Iron Monkey is friggin Pulp Fiction (Let it be known that Pulp is MovieGuy's favourite movie).

I reviewed Edison Force earlier, and said it was very close to getting the infamous 'Steaming Pile of Crap' award. Hostel was even closer. It was during a recent trip to the movie theatre to see Saw 3 that my brother and I both said that Hostel was one of the worst movies ever made. This statement is really true. This movie is so fucking terrible, I couldn't believe it. People have said that Eli Roth's movie, Cabin Fever is one of the worst movies ever made. I haven't seen it, but there is a copy in my house waiting to be watched.

So, Hostel. Some kids go to somewhere in Europe. Smoke some dope. Meet some girls. Get laid. Then die. Basically sums up the entire movie.

Now, for the excuse. The ominous one star looming up there. The beginning twenty to thirty minutes are honestly creepy. I kept waiting for it to get really creepy. You know, like, palm sweating, edge-of-your-seat creepy. It was around the time when the surgeon slipped on some blood or something and the chainsaw cut his own leg (or arm) off that I started going, 'What the hell is this?' And I spent the rest of the movie wondering that, and also wondering why I was watching this piece of trash.

Hostel ends up being another run-of-the-mill churned out product of the machine that keeps producing terrible horror movies. This one joins a long line of recent "horror" that just isn't a true horror movie. This one is crap. Not a steaming pile of it, sadly. Just a regular pile of it.