oh, those motherfuckin' snakes...

Snakes on a Plane

So, guess what? Sometimes, when internet buzz follows a movie for months before it's release, people are buzzing about the right thing. Said movie is sometimes original and scary and near perfect; unlike anything you've seen before. Of course, I'm talking about The Blair Witch Project. And guess what? Snakes on a Plane is not The Blair Witch Project.

Sam Jackson (who is one of my favourite actors) stars as a FBI agent escorting a witness from Hawaii to the US. The man on trial loads their plane full of poisonous, pheramone-riddled snakes, in an attempt to stop the witness from testifying. The only original thing this movie has going for it is premise. Come one. When was the last time someone put snakes on a plane? No one uses bombs or guns or anything anymore. The new wars will be fought with snakes.

I refuse to waste much time on this one. Its bad. And I don't mean Stay Alive bad, I mean one shade away from a Hellraiser sequel bad. There are some good one-liners by Jackson, but thats about it in this one.

This movie had incredible potential to be a wonderful B-movie, but got lost somewhere between the first minute and the last. Nothing works here. The hype was not worth it. Bloody Hell, even the blooper reel is poor. I refused to watch any deleted scenes, because this atrocity was already an hour and fourty-five minutes long.

Last word? Forget about it. Another steaming pile of crap. This one is bad. Real bad.

To paraphrase a quote from this one, "I'm sick and tired of these kinds of mutherfuckin' movies goin' into mutherfuckin' theatres. I'm tired of mutherfuckin' producers accepting poor mutherfuckin' scripts. I'm tired of mutherfuckin' internet hype, hyping bad mutherfuckin' movies."