attack on barrow 13

District 13

* * 1/2

On the DVD jacket for this movie, some critic describes this movie as a cross between Ong-bak and Escape from New York. Well, I'm a critic, and I say this movie is a cross between Crank, Run Lola Run and Escape From New York. Now, taking that into consideration, if you crossed all three of those movies into one movie to make District 13, said movie is still not as good as any of the three mentioned above.

The story is this: in a futuristic Paris circa 2010, walls have been erected to keep criminals in and the non-criminals out. When a nuclear warhead goes missing, one cop (Damien) is sent in to recover the missile and kick some ass at the same time. He's sent in with a man named Leito, who was born in District 13, and who's sister has been kidnapped by big bad boss, Taha. Cue mayhem.

The big problem I have with this movie is that it seems like it should be nothing but pure octane, high fuelled action. But its not. There are a lot of dragging scenes that are streched out in between the fighting sequences, which are good, but not as good as, say, in Ong-bak. Also, a lot of this movie seems borrowed. There is nothing original in this movie. The fighting is a hybrid of action/stunt stuff which makes it seem like outtakes from a Jackie Chan movie. And believe it or not, there's a hulking character named Yeti, that the two heroes must fight towards the end of the movie that is so similar to the Ox Baker/Kurt Russell fight scene in Escape From New York, it isn't even funny.

I give this one two and a half stars: the ultimate rating of mediocrity. Neat idea. Neat stunts. The actor who plays Damien looks like a low-rent white Vin Diesel. It was just ok for me. In honor of American Idol, I'll quote Randy Jackson for my official review of this one: "Yo, yo, yo. I gotta tell ya. You know, it was just awight. You know. I wasn't feelin it. It was kind of pitchy in spots. It wasn't your [France's] best performance [exported action film]. You know... Aw man. It was just awight for me."

See it if you want, but I would have rather watched Die Hard 2.

PS-- Die Hard 2 is my least favourite of the Die Hard series.